I no longer care at all that my closet is not perfectly organized and I care a LOT less that William's closet is not quite perfectly organized. Or that nothing in the house is in its "correct" place.
We have been very adamant that we did not want to have a "baby" house. Unfortunately - right when you walk in the front door you get hit with the pack and play, high chair, and one of our two strollers. And watch out for the diaper bag and carseat - you're about to trip over them both.
Nothing is easy any more. Nothing. I needed to run to the post office yesterday because the mailman came early and I had to mail in the sales tax forms. This should have taken 3 minutes total, round trip. Instead I'm pretty sure it took 20. I felt guilty for getting everything together to only go one place, and we didn't even get out of the car. But I was too tired to run any other errands to make the trip worth it - so we headed home.
The ten minutes it takes me to pump breast milk is just long enough to count as the only "free" time I have of the day when I don't feel guilty for not doing something else. Though being attached by the boob to a vacuum machine doesn't seem very freeing all of a sudden. Atleast we really were very smart putting the rocking chair next to the only exposed outlet in the nursery - it's also nap time.
Never ever pick up a sleeping William to change his diaper. If he's not bothered by it - neither am I. I learned this one the hard way.
On a similar note - make sure there is always a diaper or wipe VERY HANDY when changing diapers - they are never "quite" finished. And put a layer between the very adorable changing pad cover and the baby or it will never see the light of day because it is always being washed. I really need to see if anyone will laminate it for me...haha.
Little noises, "chirps" as we call them, make everything better. Especially when he's sleeping on me.
Life really does revolve around feedings. Do not think for one second that it's ok to wait until you get home to feed him - unless you have really awesome headphones that block out all noise. Cold milk is better than no milk - he will eat it - it just means I have more to clean up but the crying will come to an end which is definitely worth it.
I used to HATE leftovers. Would not eat them. Period. I have had a change of heart. If it means we don't have to cook - I'm all about slightly warm, goopy spaghetti.
I love it when everyone has tried everything they can possibly think of to calm William down and nothing worked. So they give him to me and he not only quiets down but falls asleep. He just needed his mommy - I love that.
I like that because William wakes up so early - I have to as well. Not because I'm awake but because I get to eat breakfast and spend time with Sam before he goes to work. We have never eaten breakfast together and it is nice.
Don't let anyone make you feel like a bad mom because breast feeding isn't going well. Sometimes it just doesn't work right and if someone isn't going to say anything nice - don't talk to them. I cried for two(+) days straight because I listened to someone who thought they were being helpful. Not until I talked to two people who WERE helpful was I able to make the decision that being a happy functioning mom was more important than breast feeding. Just saying.
I'm sure I have learned many more things - but I'm pretty sure I should be cleaning up the house right now or working on laundry. William is asleep in the vibrating Pack N Play and I need to take advantage of that before he wakes up starving in an hour.
Loves!
5 comments:
Sounds like you are doing pretty good! Breastfeeding was so hard for me too at first, it took about 2 months to get a good rhythem, and then I had to go back to work.
William is beautiful, seeing his pictures on Facebook is giving me babyfever all over again.
Congratulations again!
I know right where you are coming from Meghan! Becoming a mom changes so many things for you, many that you don't realize will change. All I can say to sum it up is that it gets better. I promise. (Somewhere around the 8-12 week mark I started seeing the sun.) You'll get to a point where you feel "normal" again, baby in tow.
Like you were with left overs, I was the same with drive thrus. Couldn't stand them. I always went in. Now, with two kids, I'm the queen of the drive thru. When I get to enjoy a meal in my car, I feel like I'm living!
As for breastfeeding -- it's SOOOOO hard to decide what is the right thing for you and your family. I'll pray that you gain insight. Either way, Meghan, you are a wonderful mother to your sweet baby. I will suggest though if you are still struggling to breastfeed contact a lactation consultant. Many hospitals offer a free phone service. You could just call them up with your problems, big or small. If your hospital doesn't, Northside does, and it's for anyone's use. I met in person with a consultant several times (plus it's usually covered by insurance) with both of my kids. They helped me with latch, how to increase my supply, and to deal with thrush. Most importantly, they gave me the information and confidence I needed to make the best decision for our family.
I used to hate when people told me to sleep when the baby slept. Didn't they realize that when the baby sleeps, it's the only time you have a chance to regain some semblance of normalcy?! Do what makes you happy and I promise it gets better.
You're awesome. Thanks for sharing and for listen to my response rant.
I was in the middle of typing pretty much the same paragraph as your second-to-last one the other day after your last post but then decided it was coming across as unsolicited advice.
The day I stopped trying to BF (or in my case, exclusively pump) was the day I was able to start being a mom instead of an absolute wreck. Unfortunately it took me 4 weeks of misery! Who woulda thunk I could have a perfectly healthy formula-fed baby?!
I'm glad that you were able to come to a decision that you are at peace with and so soon in the game.
Nothing the baby books (or nosy onlookers) have to say can be more important than your sanity...Our babies need us functioning at 100% much more than they need conventional wisdom!
And he really is super adorable!
Wait...that came out wrong...I meant to say I was typing practically the same info back to you (as in, I had the same experience) but didn't want to sound like I was giving advice to you, so I didn't send the message...not saying that what you typed was sounding like unsolicited advice to others...hopefully that makes sense!
Y'all are all very sweet! Thankyou!! I think I'm going to do a whole post on BFing soon. Mostly just to get it off my chest...
Abby - I understood. :)
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