Thursday, May 31, 2012

My thoughts on TIME

This is going to jump around a bit, be a little stream-of-consciousness, and I probably should've put in my own two cents weeks ago but thought better of it.....  Until I overheard something that really just brought it all back to the front for me.... people really should be more aware of who they are talking around.

I didn't read the TIME article - and I refuse to buy one to read the article since the cover was only meant to polarize, inflame, and sell.  I am sure that they succeeded.  It was all over facebook, blogs, work discussions, etc.  I heard that it was a lot about attachment parenting.... babywearing, cosleeping, etc.  Not necessarily extended breastfeeding exclusively.  Again, I didn't read the article.  Oh, but I am mad at the response I've seen, heard, and read.  People who don't know anything about breastfeeding or attachment parenting giving all kinds of damning feedback.  Like they know best.  You know what I think - if you haven't done hours and hours of reading on the topic and that's not how you parent your children - then shut up!!  You have no idea what you're talking about!!  It's just like the people who don't/didn't breastfeed their children telling me just to give that baby a bottle with cereal in it to make him sleep better/through the night - I "can just pump more".  Ignorant.  I suppose their hearts are in the right place - which is the only reason I stand there and take it with a smile - but there is a direct correlation between milk production and the baby at the breast.  I already work - I can't exactly just give the baby a bottle at night instead of breastfeeding him and hope it all works out.  Especially since I want to continue breastfeeding past a year.  Which further polarized people.  Again, do your own research, your own reading before spouting off something based on your experience FORMULA feeding your kid.  (and you know what - I get to say that because William was formula fed and it is a completely different experience and set of rules)  It is now recommended to breastfeed until atleast 2, and there are plenty of places all over the world where it is VERY common to breastfeed past that - 3-4+ years of age.  There are ALL kinds of benefits to the child - go do your own reading on the topic.  Patrick will wean from the breast when he is ready, not when I have decided that he SHOULD be ready.  There is nothing 'disgusting' about a child breastfeeding.  Oh - and I totally breastfeed in public without a cover (Patrick no longer tolerates the nursing cover or blanket over his head/body) and I am barely if anything exposed for a millisecond and you would have to be staring & hovering to get a peek worth all the effort.  Frankly - there are millions of trashy girls giving more of a show than I am on a daily basis in their regular clothes, nevermind the barely there swimsuits.  There is not a single thing 'disgusting' about me feeding my child.  How dare people say I should feed them in the bathroom or hide it away/cover it up like I'm doing something dirty.  That is precisely part of the problem and one of the many reasons why it is so difficult for women to succeed breastfeeding.  The people who say these types of things should be ashamed of themselves.

One of my most proud moments was when William was "busy feeding the baby" and brought his Hilbert to his chest so he could "eat".  I may not have been able to breast feed him, but atleast I am raising him to believe that breastfeeding is normal and not something to be hid behind closed doors.

Patrick sleeps seventeen times better when he sleeps with me.  He will learn to sleep in his bed by himself when HE is ready and not a minute before.  We test it out periodically - and so far the answer has been a resounding NOT YET.  In contrast, William was champion sleeper (when he wasn't sick or colicky), developed a specific bedtime on his own, and could put himself to sleep when he was a bit older.  All babies are different and not one specific method is one size fits all.  Really, what's so bad about letting the baby know that you are 100% there for comfort, support, and beyond?  I don't for one second believe that I am raising a child who will not independent, self-assure, and able to conquer anything he sets his mind to because he slept in my bed for X number of months/years.  Get over yourself people.

I can only imagine what people would say about feeding a baby donated breastmilk.  I have been fortunate to not need any of the milk I have frozen.  It seemed silly to continue to grow a freezer stash, when by the time Patrick was five months, none of it had been touched.  Not a single ounce.  So I began donating it.  To moms who simply wanted to do everything in their power to give their children the benefits of breastmilk but for one reason or another could not fully provide it themselves.  Please, explain to me, how that is disgusting?!  I have donated over 500 combined ounces to 3 mommas- not one of those children has had a reaction to my milk.  They haven't had tummy troubles because of it.  The same cannot be said of formula.  For the brief second that Patrick had a formula bottle when I was having issues in the beginning and we were confused and I didn't know what to do -   he was in so much pain from the switch, even though it was maybe 2 very small bottles.  Why put a baby through that if it's not necessary?  I think it great that the moms are getting out of their own ways and asking if anyone has milk and I think it is great that there are avenues that those of us with abundance can help their babies and give the moms peace of mind.  

Oh and just for the record - I wasn't a 100% babywearer - but I do hold/carry around my babies as much as I can.  In a baby carrier, Moby, or on my hip.  There will come a time when they don't want to be held, will be too big to hold, or I can't physically do it anymore - but until that moment comes - I will pick them up and hold them close.

I'm not writing this to inflame anyone or judge anyone's parenting decisions.  I really try very hard not to put any one parenting style down just because that's not the way I would do it.  But you should have heard/read the things people are saying about the way I choose to raise my children.  I just can't sit there and not say anything.  And honestly, I don't care if you breastfed or gave your child formula, I've done both and they are both growing into beautiful boys.  I don't care if your kid sleeps with you or has only slept alone, I've done both and they are both growing into happy independent boys.  And if you would like to have an intelligent conversation about any of it - I will be more than happy to chat for hours.  I love to talk about my children, breastfeeding, and everything in between.



Anje said...

Awesome mama!

Meghan Rumer said...

I can't wait for our date next weekend!!

Meghan Rumer said...

I can't wait for our date next weekend!!


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